Feeling a bit domestic

It's fall. My next trip isn't for a week, so I'm hanging out on a Saturday in my kitchen. Being domestic.

Even before Errol and I were engaged, I thought it might be fun to learn how to can. Everyone here does it, so I figured I'd have lots of people to learn from. Since moving here, we (really it's me) have been the recipients of all sorts of berries and apples. And then I have to do something with them. Way too many to eat before they go bad so your options are freeze, can, or throw away. I'm too sensible to let them go to waste and I've been too busy (read scared) to start canning yet. So I've frozen what I could and left the rest as long as possible. Today is the only day I have left to dedicate hours to the 2 remaining bags of apples (thank you Motorcycle Mama!) before I leave for 10 days. Today is canning day. I mustered all the courage I could and tackled apple butter. 3 hours of peeling and coring, 20 mins of pre-cooking, 10 mins of blending, and 1 hour of real cooking, and things seem to be going well. It's boiling and spurting hot apply puree on me, but it smells heavenly. This was a good idea.
Wait. It is supposed to thicken after that hour of cooking. I have 15 mins to go, and my butter doesn't look thickened. What do I do? What do I do?