My new therapist

I have a new therapist. He's pretty new at the job, but highly effective. Last night, after a wonderful Christmas, we had a big ol' party in the Valley. It was a fun deal. Gauge was pretty well behaved, after we fed and changed him, and let him play on the floor. He loved all the attention (when no one was touching him...). Towards the end of the evening he was fussing again, ready to eat then go to bed as is his routine. The fussing reached critical proportions in a few short minutes and and instead of driving the 3 kilometres to home, I just nursed him at the church, while others cleaned up. But it still wasn't good enough. He was hot, the surroundings loud and bothersome, so I went home with an angry, still hungry baby.

When I got home, it ALL came boiling to the top. Everything that has been frustrating me over the last who knows how long started to spew out. I know nursing a baby when you are an emotional wreck is nearly impossible, but I hoped that he would finish eating so that he would sleep through the night. Thankfully he quickly got down to business. After a couple minutes he stopped, looked at me with the biggest blues eyes he could manage and smiled. My heart melted. How could I stay upset when this perfect little angel was looking at me, solely focused on me, as if to say 'Mommy, it's going to be ok.'

Like I said, he's new at his job, but really, really good at it.

Dreams

I've never been one to remember my dreams. Falling dreams are the most common for me, and even then, they rarely happen.
In the last months of my pregnancy I dreamt almost every night. Now, for some reason, my dreams involve explosive poo, incessant crying and the fear that Gauge is lying on my chest while I'm in bed, and I can't move him. Oh, and people (usually older women) telling me I'm a poor mother. 2 of those 4 haunt me during the day too.

Sven the Stubborn Swede

This is the story of Sven the Stubborn Swede, a.k.a. our son Gauge. One of the (Norwegian) ward nurses nicknamed him this shortly after birth, and here is the tale of why.

We arrived at the hospital at 7:30 am on Friday the 30th, and quickly learned we were not going to go home, as they were going to start the birth process. Turns out I was 3cm dilated when they first checked, and labour came quickly, and progressed fairly well through the day. Motorcycle Mama came up to help and by the early evening, the day nurses figured there would be a baby before their shift was over... BUT Sven a.k.a. Gauge, had other plans. By early evening, I was completely dilated and ready to give birth, but no sign of the baby. Later in the evening, he still hadn't moved down the birth canal as one might expect, so the attending obstetrician went in for a feel and discovered his head was in the wrong position. There was still room, so she tried to turn his head into the proper position. Now, if you've never given birth, you might want to skip the next couple of sentences...
Despite the epidural, it was the worst pain imaginable. I laugh at it now, but I have never screamed so loud in my entire life. Errol declared he will think twice about how a cow feels when he does the same thing during calving season... A few good tugs and turns and his head didn't budge. Our options were forceps and a very difficult birth, or C-section. I was so tired I opted for the section.Preparations were made and off to the OR we went. Errol was able to join me and we waited while the obstetrician and her team worked. At 12:33am on Oct 31, our baby boy Gauge was born... in his own special way. When the obstetrician went into the uterus to retreive him by his head, he slipped from her grasp, did a 180, zipped past her and jumped into my abdominal cavity, where she pulled him out by his bum. In all the years she's practiced, she has never seen a baby do that. There were a few extra repairs to be made, and I was out of recovery and in my room by 4am. Errol, Gauge and Motorcycle Mama were all eagerly expecting my arrival, and we chilled until 5am when I could no longer keep my eyes open.

Gauge did great at the beginning. He latched well, was bright and alert, and just a joy to have around. However, not wanting to leave the hospital, he decided to be stubborn, and ended up with jaundice. Instead of going home after 3 days, he spent another 2 days in an infant "tanning" bed treating it. Thankfully he responded well and we were able to come home on Nov. 4th. We were so thankful to find a fridge full of quick to prepare food, and several more care packages arrived during the afternoon.

Now the real fun begins. When we got home, we looked at him and wondered "now what?" We've discovered that he's alot like me and needs to eat on a schedule and becomes completely inconsolable if food is late in arriving. So, every hour we rouse him, fight stubbornly to feed him, and eventually all fall away tired (and me hungry) from the ordeal. He's just showing mommy and daddy (and Motorcycle Mama) whose boss. But. Our little angel is just that and is touching the lives of those around us already.

Lessons to learn

I'm learning patience this week. Did you know that only 5% of babies are born on their due date? More than 75% are born after. You would think, after ALL these years of women having babies, they would be able to come up with a more accurate method of predicting when birth will occur. Hello! I like to have a bit of a plan in life, especially when it involves an hour and a half trip to the hospital...
Which leads me to my next lesson... children learn very early on, how to run their parents' lives. From the time they are barely a spec on an ultrasound screen, they influence how frequently their mother visits the bathroom, when she eats, what she eats, how much and well she sleeps and subsequently how much and well their father sleeps. But they don't really start to shine in this until the last few weeks of pregnancy. Based on experience and what others have told me, women are usually done with being pregnant several weeks before they actually give birth. The awkwardness, sore everything, poor infrequent sleep and constant potty breaks just become too much. Babies on the other hand, at least 75% of them, seem quite content to hang out in utero where it's warm and cozy, for as long as they can. Doesn't matter how many pep talks I give it, with promises of more room to stretch and cousins and friends to play with, and lots and lots of love, still no signs of coming any time soon.
Patience girl, patience.

I'm Crazy

Independent - check
Up for a challenge - check
Crazy - check

I'm due to have a baby in 4 days. 4 DAYS!! So really, it could come any time now. Guess how I've spent my Saturday so far... preparing and canning salsa. I had so many ripe tomatoes and a few green peppers, I had to do something with them, especially since I cultivated and nurtured them all summer. So I made salsa. I still have enough tomatoes to make another 2 or 3 batches of the spicy condiment, but they aren't ready yet. Depending on when this baby comes, I might find my crazy self making another batch. So real is that possibility that the last time I was in town, I bought crushed pineapple so I could make a tropical kind next time. Oi.

This year, I was more prepared though, having procured a huge canning pot from Errol's grandma and some essential tools to help make the process easier. So far so good, as it seems all my jars have sealed. And it tastes pretty good too!

2 Weeks - We're Ready.

I'm not freaking out as much as I was 7 weeks ago. We are surprisingly ready for this baby to come. In more ways than one...
I'm tired of puffy marshmallow feet, tingly carpal tunnel hands, and awkward position changes when I'm trying to sleep between pee breaks. I (think I) am ready to give birth. But, we also have the nursery, except for a few nails in the trim and some curtain rods, ready. It's exactly what I envisioned and am quite pleased with how our project turned out.
By the way.... this is what the room used to look like. An improvement no?

Word of the Day

Today's iGoogle Word of the Day is slovenly - negligent of neatness; especially in dress and person; habitually dirty and unkempt.

The very first time I encountered this word was in Taipei in 2006, when Ariannland and I visited the Chaing Kai-Shek memorial.

It frustrated me to think that the Taiwanese commonly used an English word so great as slovenly - a word I didn't know - that I took a picture of it and looked it up later.

One more reason to love international travel.